I can stoop down to reach you.

shenwenjun: still don’t actually have a scanner and it’s just...

Fri, 12 Apr 2013 01:27:14 -0400

still don’t actually have a scanner and it’s just some shitty doodles so it’s crappy photo time.

thanks to convos with karleen i’d like to think kaworu would like “classic” inspired fashions, like classic lolita (though i wanna also draw him in a nice kimono sometime).

but i also like to draw him in 80s inspired fashion.

i’m sorry.

thanks, shinji (or, in which i mistake sloppiness for style)

Tue, 02 Apr 2013 02:03:56 -0400

thanks, shinji (or, in which i mistake sloppiness for style)

so i finished that piece i was working on wow!!!! i’m...

Sun, 31 Mar 2013 04:07:53 -0400

so i finished that piece i was working on wow!!!!

i’m posting this shitty photo because 1) i won’t be able to scan it til monday and 2) i’d to write some stuff about this picture i don’t know if i want on the actual ~~~finished product~~~ post.

if you look at the dates on this blog it’s been a long, long time since i’ve done any meaningful art. by that art that weren’t half-finished ideas or doodles. not even sketches were in my reach. in fact it’s been a long, long time since i’ve done self-motivated art (not for school or work). like i have some good sketches that i put real work into that i haven’t posted here because of a lack of scanner but those are far and few in between.

a lot of this was because of a lack of motivation stemming of hyper self-awareness/criticism of my flaws in drawing. my lack of abilities and skills in communicating the ideas i wanted. if they weren’t going to be my exact vision then what was the point.

i’ve been struggling a lot with self-esteem and self-hate issues for a while and trying to reconcile what i know intellectually/objectively about myself (other people care about me and find value in me; i’m doing okay; i’m a good human being; my life is worth living; i don’t have to be perfect at everything) and what my brain problems tell me, have always told me (you’re worthless; you should die; you should be in as much pain as possible; your existence is a burden; you’re disgusting; your accomplishments are nothing compared to your failures) it’s hard. it affected my art output and motivation the worst. i stopped drawing for myself because of school and my fear of inadequacy. which was a damning cycle which i know would lead to lose something i’ve loved for all of my life. sometimes i would be motivated but it would never last and i never did anything worthwhile in my eyes.

recently i watched neon genesis evangelion (if you couldn’t tell by the piece in the photo). it resonated hard with me, especially the ending. it’s about self-reflection, self-worth, self-reliance, and self-motivation. your life is yours and no one else’s. you need other people and things but you cannot base your life around them. life is cruel and difficult and unfair but inherently worth living in itself. it is what it is and it’s your choice at the end of the day what to do with it.

that ending really awoke something in me though. i related to shinji and his struggles. and while there’s no way for me to have a mental journey in which i overcome my problems in the span of two 30 minutes episodes, i can relate to his journey and remember his words.

it’s very down to earth and optimistic and without being condescending. and i did this piece to honor shinji i guess and express how much this series really affected me. though my view on myself and what to do has not drastically shifted in some ways—as knowing a message is easier than internalizing it—i can keep it close to my heart as a reminder.

maybe i won’t work on art at such a breakneck speed but i believe in myself to do art for me. to do what i enjoy and make mistakes. i made a lot of mistakes in this piece and one day i want to redo it but right now i’m proud. i’m proud for doing what i love even when my mind would rather give up and pretend i just can’t.

sorry for posting the same wip twice in one day but i like this...

Fri, 29 Mar 2013 14:58:00 -0400

sorry for posting the same wip twice in one day but i like this and holy hell how am i going so fast ??????

christ it has been a really fucking long time since i’ve...

Fri, 29 Mar 2013 13:29:00 -0400

christ it has been a really fucking long time since i’ve attempted to draw anything i can consider real art

thnx shinji

homestuck upd8 fanart under the cut One day I will have the artistic ability to at least...

Mon, 18 Jun 2012 02:59:13 -0400

homestuck upd8 fanart under the cut

One day I will have the artistic ability to at least adequately execute my ideas.

just a sketch because I need to redo this but I wanted to share anyway.

hmmmmmmm it’s been a while since I’ve updated this...

Thu, 29 Mar 2012 16:48:02 -0400

hmmmmmmm it’s been a while since I’ve updated this blog, and I’ve had more time to draw since it’s Spring Break, so here’s a humanized EVE sketch because I watched WALL-E yesterday (WHAT A GOOD MOVIE!!!).

[Image description: Homestuck fanart of Jane with her disguise...

Sat, 03 Mar 2012 22:49:00 -0500

[Image description: Homestuck fanart of Jane with her disguise on, twirling her mustache with a sneaky (or seductive??) look in her eyes.]

I’m not actually going to submit, I KNOW it’s not gonna win

but I still love Jane so much so I’m uploading it.

[Image description: Homestuck fanart of Roxy sleeping in her...

Sat, 03 Mar 2012 21:33:00 -0500

[Image description: Homestuck fanart of Roxy sleeping in her bed, holding Complacency of the Learned as if she feel asleep while reading it.]

HEY it really doesn’t work in my favor when 1) I’m really slow at making serious art (by that I mean art I’m actually putting effort into) and 2) I don’t have any digital rt programs whatsoever besides whatever Microsoft gives me. So I end up with a very slow output of not ultra-amazing fanart. So as of now I’m probably gonna only submit one piece to the albumn art contest and I’m 99.99% sure I won’t win.

BUT I’m still pretty proud of this, even if it’s kinda dirty and small. I like it! And I like Roxy and having Feelings about her relationship with alpha!Rose.

[Image description: A Tintin fanart Valentine. Tintin is...

Tue, 14 Feb 2012 01:22:33 -0500

[Image description: A Tintin fanart Valentine. Tintin is enveloped by a red-lined heart. He appears flustered and surprised, saying “Great snakes! You’ve stolen my heart, Valentine!”]

This could be better but I’m still a bit busy and tired.

Happy V-Day, everybody! -3-/

I am so behind

Tue, 29 Nov 2011 03:33:24 -0500

I am so behind:

and a snowball’s chance in hell I’m gonna finish, but anyone want to check out my crummy OCs so far???

[Image description: A doodle of post-Scratch!Mom Lalonde...

Sun, 13 Nov 2011 03:13:00 -0500

[Image description: A doodle of post-Scratch!Mom Lalonde dreamily writing fanfic in her notepad. She imagines her as a wizard prodigy, proudly clutching a wand in one hand, holding Dad Egbert in the other. They are also riding a pony into the quote, “rainbow sunset.”]

What you’re missing:

Mom becoming a youngest official wizard of her time
also the only girl
and saving everyone from the three-headed puppet griffin
thus winning over Dad’s heart
and Mom showing her masterpiece to Jane and the latter recoiling in horror after the 3rd chapter and never finishing it
There were 50 chapters in total

[Image description: A fanart picture of godtier!John and (ghost)...

Thu, 18 Aug 2011 00:56:37 -0400

[Image description: A fanart picture of godtier!John and (ghost) godtier!Vriska together. In contrast to John’s sharper and brighter colors, Vriska’s colors are smudged and faded. John is sad and emotional at the sight of his dead moirail ghost. Vriska is floating and bent close to John. Vriska is tired and also sad, but also calm and trusts John to grant her request. “8e the hero/that I couldn’t 8e”]

Technical things: Crayola crayons and pastels, pencil, digital editing

I guess it is time for posting anonymous HSO R1 entries.

And actually I had fucked up and originally drawn this on a piece of paper with some pen doodles on it but thanks to Karleen, it turned out okay!

[Image description: A simple, not very tidy Homestuck fanart...

Sun, 14 Aug 2011 05:44:54 -0400

[Image description: A simple, not very tidy Homestuck fanart parody of a scene from E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial. The scene is when Gertie kisses E.T., only replaced by Jade (in pig tails) and Karkat (who is surprised and blushing).]

yay another Bonus Round 1b entry at 3 am

[Image description: A Homestuck parody fanart (done in pencil...

Fri, 12 Aug 2011 05:52:00 -0400

[Image description: A Homestuck parody fanart (done in pencil and black pen) of the climax scene in Dirty Dancing in which Baby leaps into Johnny’s arms and he raises her up high. But with John (as Baby)and Vriska (as Johnny) replacing them. Beside John is the text “pchoooooooo!”]

my first entry for Bonus Round 1b

I feel no shame

also inspired by this

[Image description: A banner for the Homestuck Shipping Olympics...

Mon, 01 Aug 2011 00:04:49 -0400

[Image description: A banner for the Homestuck Shipping Olympics for Team Aradia♥Sollux♠Equius♥Aradia. Equius and Sollux are glaring and standing close to each other. Equius has a fist near Sollux’s face, while the other is grabbind the hem of Equius’s tank top. A spade symbol is above and between their faces. Aradia is in front of and between the two. Her expression is calm, eyes close. She’s holding onto the other two’s free arms. There’s a heart symbol for her and each of the two guys. All three are blushing.]

A barely on time banner for this team, mainly the concept intrigued me. I hope they like it.

also I need to get better at image descriptions.

dia-dhuit: [Image description: A stick-figure like doodle of...

Sun, 31 Jul 2011 04:44:14 -0400

dia-dhuit:

[Image description: A stick-figure like doodle of Eridan wearing his glasses, a scarf, wizard’s hat and robe. He has a wand in his hand. He says “im a wwizard noww!”]

in celebration of pottermore

this should’vve actually gone here first but wwhatevver

[Image description: A banner for Team Jade♥Rose for the...

Thu, 28 Jul 2011 01:35:03 -0400

[Image description: A banner for Team Jade♥Rose for the Homestuck Shipping Olympics 2011 (the team and event name are on the banner). It’s a a lineart of Jade and Rose, looking at each other with a loving gaze. Their pinkies are pointed upward with a red string connecting them.]

I am a 14 year old weeaboo who remembered Jade’s finger strings and giggled with over enthusiastic glee at the realization.

also because Team Jade♥Rose was my original bb and I needed to soothe my guilt and support them.

[Image description: A banner. A painted picture of two playing...

Mon, 25 Jul 2011 23:53:51 -0400

[Image description: A banner. A painted picture of two playing cards layered with one over the other. One is of a red diamond, the other of a black spade. The background is brushed, smeary shades of gray. There’s some red blood smeared on them and the background. Below is the text “SPADES SLICK♥DIAMONDS DROOG/Homestuck Shipping Olympics 2011”.]

Technical things: Acrylic paint, some digital editing.

Here’s my derpy entry for the bonus round but I do like it so I’m posting it here.

[Image description: A sketchy, smudgy WIP picture of Madoka and...

Wed, 20 Jul 2011 00:42:53 -0400

[Image description: A sketchy, smudgy WIP picture of Madoka and Mami (in their Puella Magica outfits) being happy and shit together.]

better image desc. when I’m finished…….

also how do other people sketch so cleanly

how

and fuck pleated skirts